The whole time I'm awake I am pretending that I'm not pretending that I'm pretending.... so whose life I'm living? I'm not a cat.. so I don't have 9 lives. I feel I'm living a "side life" - no I don't suffer of schizophrenia... just plain depression, though severe version of it and long version of it.
A really bad day, or should I say week(s) behind me. Even got new prescriptions for this illness but nothing seems to help.
I hate life, but I struggle. I dream of suicide but won't do it .. as they say "what would kill the bad?" - answer is - nothing... the good guys goes first.. I've experienced it myself. But it does nothing good. "Suffering does not ennoble anyone.."
